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#Amtrakresidency: The Empire Builder

I knew I needed Twitter followers @SpaffordJason when I saw something posted online called #Amtrakresidency. I was intrigued. What are the odds of that, kind and relentlessly charming readers – something intriguing on the big web? This residency involves getting picked to be one of 24 writers who will get a round trip ride on […]

Lincoln Logs and Legos

Hoyt and I saw the Lego Movie on opening day and we both really enjoyed it. To be honest, I didn’t think I would and expected I could sleep for 20-30 minutes. But I didn’t. We tried to go back a week after opening and see it with the entire family plus a couple of […]

The Royal Tooth Doctor

Teeth are necessary. Chewing and smiling, best when not done simultaneously, are very important to us. This is why many years ago – but in the scope of things, not really that long ago – teeth got their own doctor. The doctors that came to be the teeth doctors are now referred to as dentists. […]

Late – The New On Time

If I knew I were going to die soon, I’d like to get in the coffin ahead of time just so I could get comfortable. Maybe get a bag of popcorn and a drink and watch the previews. Sorry, wait. That’s getting to the movies early. I guess the bottom line is I’m not a […]

The New Girl Shopper

My daughter Lila is now eleven and proclaimed to me how much she loves to shop. I think that would be good if it were pertaining to food. When you think of someone “shopping” for food you think of the person trying to spread a dollar as far as it can go. When I think […]

The Aristocraft – Part 3

The morning brought back the sun and it said, “Hey, what’s up with you guys? You need to bail out your boat and isn’t camping fun.” We bailed out the boat. While we bailed out the boat we could see our friend’s sailboat gliding across the lake off in the distance and had no way […]

The Aristocraft – Part 2

Another sunny, beautiful day. Nothing could go wrong. The plan was to take our boat out to the farthest island- Devil’s Island -to visit the old lighthouse. Devil”a Island was some 7 miles out in Lake Superior. There were other islands that spotted our peripheral on the way out so it wasn’t as though we […]

The Aristocraft – Part 1

A $200 1960s boat at a garage sale in Remer, Minnesota. First off, why don’t the people of Remer get together and change the name of their town. Secondly, this is the reason everyone should always carry cash. I apologize. I never carry cash. The Remerite must have taken a check. Dear and kind boat […]

Naming a Boat

If I see one more boat named Namaste, I’ll take up smoking just so I can burn my eyes out with red hot cigarette embers. Dear and kind spiritual reader, let me withdraw my harsh previous statement. I went off the deep end. I would only burn out one of my eyes. If I blinded […]

Revolutionary New Diet

Sometimes I get a little exercise. For example, if a child shoves a small plastic bead up her nose I may get a call from my wife, let’s refer to her as Cynthia for our purposes here. In fact, while we’re referring, let’s refer to that child as Iris. When I have the good fortune […]

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