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My Colonoscopy and the NRA

Dear and kind readers, let me start by saying I was a member of the NRA – I think. Many years ago at the approximate age of twelve, living in Northern Wisconsin, I took a gun safety course. I was taught how to responsibly carry a gun, load a gun, apply the safety, and sit […]

Devouring a Strategic Partnership

I need to apologize in advance for the title of this piece. It might lead some to believe they are about to read an insightful business treatise on the reasons that a strategic partnership failed. Or it could be about quickly learning everything there is to know about a strategic partnership. It is not about […]

The Royal Tooth Doctor

Teeth are necessary. Chewing and smiling, best when not done simultaneously, are very important to us. This is why many years ago – but in the scope of things, not really that long ago – teeth got their own doctor. The doctors that came to be the teeth doctors are now referred to as dentists. […]

Late – The New On Time

If I knew I were going to die soon, I’d like to get in the coffin ahead of time just so I could get comfortable. Maybe get a bag of popcorn and a drink and watch the previews. Sorry, wait. That’s getting to the movies early. I guess the bottom line is I’m not a […]

The New Girl Shopper

My daughter Lila is now eleven and proclaimed to me how much she loves to shop. I think that would be good if it were pertaining to food. When you think of someone “shopping” for food you think of the person trying to spread a dollar as far as it can go. When I think […]

The Aristocraft – Part 3

The morning brought back the sun and it said, “Hey, what’s up with you guys? You need to bail out your boat and isn’t camping fun.” We bailed out the boat. While we bailed out the boat we could see our friend’s sailboat gliding across the lake off in the distance and had no way […]

Naming a Boat

If I see one more boat named Namaste, I’ll take up smoking just so I can burn my eyes out with red hot cigarette embers. Dear and kind spiritual reader, let me withdraw my harsh previous statement. I went off the deep end. I would only burn out one of my eyes. If I blinded […]

Revolutionary New Diet

Sometimes I get a little exercise. For example, if a child shoves a small plastic bead up her nose I may get a call from my wife, let’s refer to her as Cynthia for our purposes here. In fact, while we’re referring, let’s refer to that child as Iris. When I have the good fortune […]

Mark Schauder was not a Hippie

What do cigarettes and long haired guys have in common? Fortunately for you, I will tell you what. The perception of cool. Dear kind and thoughtful reader, my main goal in life is to make you mad and irritated. I like to call it maditated. Before I lose you to your other business about the […]

Spirit Airlines Meet The MegaBus

So now I’ve gone and done it again. Once again I’ve made more work for myself. I’ve set the bar too high and I’ll never be able to live up to my heat of the moment expectations. It all started with a bad customer experience with an airline company that shall remain named – Spirit […]

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