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Stroke of Luck or Near Debt Experience – Part 2

I awoke from my dignified sleep and went to brush the ever-demanding teeth. Now there was more numbness. I spit my toothpaste out like I imagine a post stroke Kirk Douglas, although there was no 90 year-old distinguished face staring back at me with the trademarked dimpled chin, but instead a pouty, confused 48-year-old. I […]

Stroke of Luck or Near Debt Experience – Part 1

Three weeks into my time at home while my family is in New Hampshire for part of the summer I am still holding out hopes of accomplishing great and many things in my unfamily time. But, with one week left before I join them, I’m not sure what I’ve accomplished. And I had a headache. […]

Roman Candle Mayhem

Who doesn’t love the 4th of July, besides possibly the 5th of July. Dear patient reader, you may persist by placing quotations around your effervescent question of, “Why would the 3rd of July be ok with the 4th of July?” Then you may even go as far as asking, “Could you stop referring to our […]

Dear Old Man

I started going to a gymnasium a couple of years ago. Yes, kind readers, I like to call it gymnasium. I have a good friend named Jim and if I said I was going to “work out” at the gym, the vision of me doing jumping jacks in front of Jim always comes to mind. […]

Redneck by Association

Some years ago my sister married her first husband. I refer to him as first husband, because there ended up being a second and much improved husband that would follow. Number one wasn’t a bad guy, but from my point of view he had a stuck in-high-school kind of way about him. Number one was […]

Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day

As we all have come to find, men and women are generally different. Dear reader, I’m not here to prescribe the antidote for the common differences. Just think of me as an unbiased traveler from a far off galaxy just here to observe. I just happen to be a guy from outer space – not […]

Birthday Ideas

My socks seem to be causing a dent in my ankle area. Dear reader, you may ask what kind of dent in the leg could a sock be creating? I will tell you that these are substantial dents. These socks were birthday gifts. One might think that since the socks were a pair, I would […]

Poor, Poor Merlot

Poor, poor Merlot. What did it do to anybody? It did get in the way of a very funny blockbuster movie from several years back. A few weeks ago I met with a gentleman who works with one of the largest beer and alcohol distributors in the country. I wasn’t meeting with him about filling […]

Is This Short Enough, Jonathan?

Years ago when I lived in Madison, WI a friend of mine said some guys she knew had just started a funny little paper. I had read the little paper and agreed that it was funny. She said that I should write for the new paper. I was told that she had told the guys […]

Flipping the Bird

My best friend – I’ll call him Curt Peter – and I had planned on moving to Alaska and working on fishing boats when we graduated from high school. Not only were we going to work on the fishing boats, but we would also have lots of adventures in general. We didn’t do this. I […]

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